YOU SHALL KNOW our zine-making techniques

Every few years, a website is published that is so important, small Cargo Cult religions are formed around the event of its publication. This is one of those websites. Filled with every essay that contained the word "zine" from the 59th most popular zine in the world*, The Inner Swine, this book will rob you of precious hours while teaching you almost nothing about zine-making techniques. But none of the other websites around you will teach you that, either, so it’s a wash. The Inner Swine, serving mankind since 1995.

TABLE OF CONTENTS
Preface

ZINE THEORY 101

The Five Stages of a Zine Publisher's Life
Zine Rebel or Zine Elvis? (Or Something In-Between?)
Ten Things That Annoy Me about my Fellow Zine Publishers (In No Particular Order)
30 ISSUES to GREATNESS (The Inner Swine Timeline 1995-2003)
TO DIE. IN THE RAIN (What Kind of Writer Are You, Anyway?)
STEAL THIS ZINE

PRACTICAL ZINE STUFF

YOU SHALL KNOW our zine making techniques (How The Inner Swine Gets Made)
Free as in Beer (Laying Out a Zine on a PC At No Cost?)
Dance With a Hand in My Pants (How I Produce 60 Pages of Quality Shit for Cheap)
Mr. Mute's Guide to Making a Zine
QUICK & DIRTY E-PUB (Be a Fucking E-Publisher If You Want: Do It For Free, Yo)

COLUMNS

MORE SHIT I GOTTA DO
From www.innerswine.com

My History of Zining (Publish Your Own Book, Why Not?)
Persistence of Zining
I Am Fucking Rich
Number 288 of 324 (Precious Little Zines)
Why Must We Stay Where We Don't Belong? (Is DIY Publishing Too Interesting to Ever Be Big?)

IT MEANS IT'S WANK
From Xerography Debt

#1: WHY I LOVE BAD REVIEWS
#2: PERSONA NON GRATA
#3: NO BITCHING ZONE
#4: THE LONG DARK TEA TIME OF THE SOUL
#5: THE PRICE OF EVERYTHING AND THE VALUE OF NOTHING

Glossary

BUY THE BOOK: "YOU SHALL KNOW our zine-making techniques" can be bought in carefully distilled book-like form from our cafepress store. Sure, it isn't worth it considering you can buy it here for free, but we needs liquor monies, and we still believe that there's a magical something about holding an actual printed book in your hands, even if said book is a cheap POD knockoff. Have some mercy.

JEFF SEZ: This book was hand-crafted by runaway teenagers paid in food, local winos paid in fortified wines, and a family of trained helper monkeys not paid at all, resulting in a great deal of property damage. I was also drinking quite heavily during creation. Please excuse any defects, mistakes, or sub-standard materials, and pray for me.

*According to the now-defunct Zine Guide.