I’m buying my first new computer in <checks notes> seven years. Another huge desktop for me, thanks; while I love phones and tablets and use cloud storage endlessly, I still love me some hardware, especially *upgradeable* hardware.
I tend to overdo my specs, in the sense that I am not nearly the power user I imagine I am, so my ridiculous CPU, L5, and GPU combo is probably 150% of what I might need. But this also means I expect to be able to use the computer for, well, seven years or so without feeling any lag. My old rig is just starting to feel a bit wonky, for example; I probably could get a few more useful years out of it.
I didn’t build my own because I’m lazy as hell, and also because my discipline when it comes to things like static electricity is … not good. When I was 20 I owned a delightful 1978 Chevy Nova, and one day decided to finally put a radio in. Instead of paying someone to do it, like a sucker, I did it myself, and managed to short out the entire electrical system. That’s-a-me when it comes to any sort of electricity. So ramming sticks of RAM into a motherboard is not my best option.
Besides, when I used to be a serious tinkerer, I lost years off my life due to incompetence.
The Black Screen of Nothingness
I realize most of my anecdotes are concerned with my incompetence, drunkenness, and general lack of capability and smarts, but that is such a deep well of material (it really is a wonder I’m not dead in some sort of bread-making accident, or perhaps drowned in a kid’s pool full of beer foam) I can’t resist.
Back in the late 1990s I became interested in how computers worked. Like, I woke up one day and realized these things were here to stay and so I wanted to understand them. I read a book on Assembly programming (no, really, I did), and I was astounded to discover that there were alternatives to Microsoft Windows, and you could set your computer up to dual boot between Windows and something else.
Theoretically.
I did some research. Back then Linux was essentially a box full of random parts, so I decided my best choice was BSD, because BSD was rumored to come on like 150 CDs with every possible application ready to be installed, including a bunch of window managers for the full GUI experience. All you had to do was literally reach into the Deep Magic of your hard drive and set it up to dual-boot. Which I would not recommend you try to do for the first time on your one and only computer, the computer you rely on for your Internet connection, word processing, and game playing. Because if you do, what happened to me might happen to you: I meticulously followed the instructions I’d printed out, rebooted my computer, and … nothing.
A black screen. Not even a complaint. Just … nothing. The computer turned on, saw what I had wrought, and just sat there, transformed by my buffoonery into the world’s worst space heater.
Oh, shit
Now, this was back in the Dark Ages. I didn’t have a smart phone or a tablet or even a second computer, so I had no access to the Internet. So all I could do was review my hard copies and try a few dozen emergency maneuvers to try and at least get back to zero. I suppose I could have gone out and found one of those old-school Internet Cafes or a library offering Internet access. Instead, I chose to stay up all night and stare into the void that my tiny 13-inch computer screen had recently become.
I eventually clawed my way back into control. I forget exactly what Master Boot Record magic I had to perform, but I did finally get the damn computer to dual-boot Windows and BSD. Which was a mixed blessing, because BSD Unix was not a user-friendly experience, and I didn’t get very far with it. But I did have the sense of having mastered the universe, which for me was and is a very rare experience. But back then I had a lot of time on my hands, being a single dude with very little ambition. These days I have to be more careful with my time — and my sanity.
Still, I like knowing that I have the power to completely ruin my evening, any time I wish.