SO, another year is almost over. I’m generally not one to wallow in the past or engage in any sort of proftitable self-examination; if Past Jeff made mistakes in 2022, well, that’s Past Jeff’s problem. I am New and Improved Jeff, and New and Improved Jeff has whiskey to drink as he rides his own melt down to death and oblivion. All I can say about 2022 is that I did some writing I’m proud of, some writing I’m not proud of, and managed to pay all my bills by writing for my corporate masters. Huzzah!
I am all about looking forward to next year, though, because 2023 is currently an untrammeled field of pure snow and literally anything could happen. I am also a guy who likes to have a plan, so I’ve decided that 2023 will be the Jeff Somers Year of the Failed Novel1.
That doesn’t mean I’m going to fail to write novels in 2023 (though, yes, that will happen, thanks for asking). It means that my many, many creative and promotional outlets will focus on the failed novels of my past. Specifically:
1. The Podcast. Over at THE NO PANTS COCKTAIL HOUR, where I discuss a work of fiction I wrote and possibly published and then read it for y’all, 2023 is going to be dedicated to the many failed novels I have in my trunk. This means novels that I started but couldn’t finish, novels that I finished but hate, novels I liked but couldn’t sell — any definition of the word “failed” will apply. So I’ll discuss the novel, why and how it failed, and then read a chapter from it. Sound like fun? Well, as always I’ll be sipping whiskey while I do all this, so I’ll be extra weepy and dramatic. Why can’t I sell a novel about a middle-aged white man who is average at everything? WHY?
2. This blog. Man, I am old enough to remember when everyone had a blog and it meant something. Now I have this blog and have no idea what to do with it. What I’ve been doing with it is posting free novels, so i guess I’ll do that again. And since by definition this will be a failed novel — because if I thought the novel had legs and could be published in some form I wouldn’t splash it on the Internet here — this will also fit into my Year of the Failed Novel inititiave2.
So, in 2023, I’ll be posting my novel Collections here, one chapter a week until I run out. For extra fun, Collections will also be included in the failed novels discussed over on the podcast! Failure is fun. Here’s a quick logline for the book:
A legbreaking collections freelancer associated with gangster Frank McKenna buys the debt run up by civilian Elias Falken. It should be the easiest collection of his career — Falken is soft and spiraling, an easy touch. But when he tracks Falken down, the man vanishes into thin air — and he’s not the only one. Stuck with a debt that will see him killed if he can’t make good on it, the freelancer begins looking in every dark corner for clues — and discovers the world is not what it seems.
First chapter will drop on January 10th, and new chapters will show up weekly after that. Hopefully you enjoy it!
And that concludes this blog post about the future. See y’all there, and Happy Holidays!
———————————————————–
- This riff comes from “Infinite Jest,” in which time becomes sponsored, so instead of the year 2023 we would have The Year of the Yushityu 2007 Mimetic-Resolution-Cartridge-View-Motherboard-Easy-To-Install-Upgrade For Infernatron/InterLace TP Systems For Home, Office Or Mobile. David Foster Wallace was a hilarious genius.
- Man, calling something an “initiative” just makes it sound better in every way. I’m going to start doing that with everything: The Jeff Makes a Sandwich Initiative; I am pleased to announce the total success of the Jeff Takes a Nap with Three Cats on the Sofa Initiative. HUZZAH.