The Real Reason “Halt & Catch Fire” Sucked

This poster is much better than the actual show.

So, if you were one of the very small number of people who watched Halt and Catch Fire on AMC this summer (possible reasons for your interest include being fascinated by 1980s-era computer technology and hacking [that would be my excuse] or possibly a fascination with bad television [also, strangely, me]), you likely share my reaction to the Season One Finale: A disgusted shrug. Put succinctly: This show was awful.

Also, the Whitest Show Ever Produced (and I watch Mad Men, y’all). But mainly: Awful.

It was, however, awful in a curious way. Yes, the writing was slipshod, the show reached for ridiculous dramatic moments far too often and failed to pull them off, and for some reason thought simply giving a character a “mysterious backstory” and then immediately revealing it to be a shallow and poorly conceived …. non-moment was somehow deconstructive or brilliant. Sure, stipulated.

The real reason this show sucked? It was too real. Halt and Catch Fire was the realest fucking show on television.

Consider:

• Joe, played by Lee Pace, is initially presented as the Mysterious Genius who has a secret plan to do something amazing. As it turns out, he’s that boss everyone has ever had: More or less an asshole who simply demands that everyone do amazing work for him and then professes zero gratitude when they sweat blood to do it. And then acts like it is his asshole nature that deserves all the credit, because he pushes people.
• His Great Idea is essentially to create an IBM PC clone that’s cheaper and faster than the competition. That’s it. And not only that, classic capitalist mechanics force them to make it even less special in order to compete.
• The lead engineer, Gordon, is a plodder: A genius in his own way with hardware specs, but also moody, alcoholic, unreliable, and interior to the point of being intensely boring.
• His wife, instead of being the dramatic bitch standing in the way of dreams, is simply the wife who is just as smart if not smarter than you and who also appears to be holding down the fort at home.
• The place where you work isn’t filled with stylish and zany people. It is filled with boring folks just getting through their work and going home.
• Your lead programmer, while brilliant, is also unreliable and reacts with tantrums when her ideas are rejected, then leaves to start her own company and steals all your programmers.

Anyone who has ever worked in a cubicle in an office will recognize the tone of this show … and wonder that anyone considered it entertainment. You live this shit. Why do you want to watch it on TV?

So, it gets points for accuracy. It really does. But for entertainment? Not so much.