Ask Jeff Anything 9-21-10
I had some time on my hands and another question in my inbox, so here’s another question answered. Knowledge: It’s what’s in my head.
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Ask Jeff Anything 9-15-10
Here we go again: This time, my fellow scribe Sean Ferrell (author of the disturbingly good Numb) submits a question clearly designed to provoke an alcoholic rage:
Now, if you’ll excuse me JEFF ANGRY JEFF GO SMASH.
This terrible song spoils EVERYTHING
That’s right: Don’t dare watch if you don’t know every spoiler, ever.
Review of The Terminal State
The fine folks over at Pat’s Fantasy Hotlist have reviewed The Terminal State, and loved it:
“Avery Cates is a despicable, manipulative, immoral, lousy, sick fuck. But I love him! For all his faults and shortcomings, it’s well nigh impossible not to root for him … I’ve said in the past that these books are addictive, and The Terminal State has done nothing to change that. Roll on The Final Evolution!”
Huzzah! Go buy twelve.
Palmer Vs. Somers, The Final Chapter
Well, mercifully, Orbit has posted the final hunk of video showing the fiasco Phil Palmer and I took part in. You can view it here:
http://www.orbitbooks.net/2010/09/10/somers-vs-palmer-when-authors-collide-final-part/
I’ve been drinking heavily since the filming process began, and crying jags are not uncommon. Okay, niether of those things were ever uncommon, but still. It was traumatic. Can’t wait to see what Phil has to say about these final chapters on his blog.
Palmer Vs. Me Part Four
I can’t even watch any more. Go to the Orbit Books site if you must watch.
http://www.orbitbooks.net/2010/09/09/somers-vs-palmer-when-authors-collide-part-4/
Somers Vs. Palmer Day Three
My erstwhile documentary partner, Philip Palmer, posted this to his blog yesterday:
“I confess that I may have slightly misunderstood the original brief. I remember being told at one point that Jeff and I were going to compare the relative merits (toughness/sexiness/kickassitude) of our two protagonists, namely the intellectually brilliant and astonishingly physically powerful Version 43, and the rather dim-witted always-getting-beaten-up Avery Cates. I took the view that it’s better to be objective and scientific about such questions; so I took the liberty of recruiting the world authority in such matters, Dr Paul Bostock (Professor in Protagonism and Genre Conflict at the Heinlein University, Colorado) to argue, basically, that my protagonist is better than Jeff’s protagonist.
In retrospect, perhaps I was over-achieving a bit there. So once again Jeff – a million apologies! I abase myself, etc etc.”
Can you believe this guy? You might see why the whole project devolved into a shouting match between us. To see the unholy mess collapse right before your eyes, you can check Orbit’s web site, where they’re posting more videos of our failed experiment. Here’s parts two and three:
PART TWO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubxGs5D0lfo
PART THREE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HQ_quCAcdM
Spoiler Madness
Friends, I support all lifestyles. Like to read Vampire Romances? Go with god. Prefer vodka to whiskey? You mystify and alarm me, but I’ll die defending your right to drink ghastly stuff. Think The Wire was impenetrable and dull? I will work tirelessly to restrain my urge to set your house on fire. Want to avoid even the barest hint of a spoiler for TV shows and movies? Fine by me. Within reason. There is, however, a limit on how long I am supposed to worry about spoiling something for you.
Recently, there’s been a kerfluffle because Wikipedia is now spoiling the endeding Agatha Christie’s Mousetrap, a play that’s been running somewhere or other for about 50-60 years now. It’s a murder mystery with a twisty ending, and for decades now each show ends with the performers asking the audience to keep the secret to themselves and not spoil the ending. Now, of course, anyone who read the Wikipedia entry out of basic curiosity for the play can discover the ending, say “Meh,” and move on.
Let me repeat the most important part of that story: THE PLAY HAS BEEN PERFORMED CONTINUOUSLY FOR MORE THAN FIFTY YEARS.
I’m not sure anyone elected me to state when, exactly, the expiration date for spoilers occurs, but I am pretty damn sure it’s somewhere less than fifty goddamn years. Fifty years on, you are firmly on your own, and discussion of the “twist” in Mousetrap falls under the category of revealing to someone that Germany lost World War I in spoiler levels. Which is to say: It is no longer a goddamn spoiler.
Now, I’m notoriously spoiler-friendly. I don’t waste time avoiding twists, and I firmly believe that if I can’t enjoy a story even knowing the ending then it wasn’t very good to begin with. On the other hand, I understand perfectly the desire to enjoy newly released entertainments without the ruinous effect of spoilers – again, I support all lifestyles. but there are limits. Personally, I think that this limit should be pretty brief: Three months or so after initial release. However, I could be persuaded to support a spoiler-ban for up to a year, depending on the circumstances. But there is a point when a book or movie or TV show has been out there so long, if you still haven’t seen it and want to preserve the mystery, well, son, it’s on you to do the heavy lifting. That is to say, if you haven’t seen The Sixth Sense yet in 2010, and I happen to mention in casual conversation that the doctor is a frickin’ ghost, too bad. I will not cry for you, kid.
Because if you push Spoilerism too far, we’re gonna be protecting spoilers in Shakespeare, in the Bible, in Aesop’s Fables. We’re going to have to regard every twist ending in the history of the universe as a spoiler, and we’re going to have to start entering into contractual agreements when discussing anything. I end up having to pay out enough settlements after conversations with people – I don’t need to have something else to worry about.
Me and Phil Palmer
A few weeks ago, my chipper UK editor Anna Gregson asked me if I’d participate in a little cross-promotion with another Orbit author, the ridiculously talented and charming Philip Palmer, since we both had books coming out within a month of each other (The Terminal State for me; Version 43 for Phil). We were both enthusiastic about the idea, since we admired each other’s work and were on long-distance friendly terms (the best kind for me, as I tend to be inebriated and belligerent in person). Anna suggested we each submit to interviews for a short documentary centering around our main characters – Avery Cates for me and the eponymous Version 43 for Phil. I expected a cheerful, friendly exchange of literary views. Things did not go … as planned.
For a while the publisher considered not doing anything with the footage, but in the end the fact that they’d spent almost $45 American dollars on the project convinced them they had to wring at least some publicity out of the project, so they’ve started posting episodes. Here’s the first one:
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zeyVeagJ7mc)
For one thing, I filmed about 75 hours worth of interviews and submitted about 30 hours of animations. I was told this would show at film festivals and that Orbit was considering buying some TV time to air the edited version. Now it looks like Orbit has edited this down to about twenty minutes of total footage. I am outraged. Someday I am going to get up before noon, put on some pants, and file a lawsuit.
Secondly, I was extremely disappointed in the passive aggressive (and later simply aggressive) manner that Phil Palmer chose to adopt in his filmed portions. I started off a huge fan of Phil Palmer, person and writer. I’m still a fan of the writer.
Ask Jeff Anything 9-1-10
Here we are again: Another week, another question from readers of this blog. This time, Shayral asks me to commit Cool Suicide and admit that I once played Role Playing Games:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lIv9i0G1U0
Well, I don’t think any of you thought I was cool in the first place, so I guess no harm done.