More Shit I Gotta Do

The Tandem Reading Series 11-13-11

Author: November 14, 2011 2 Comments

Last night I was invited to read at the Tandem Reading Series along with Sean Ferrell and Evan Mandery, both of whom are much smarter than me. This was intimidating, especially since the theme of the reading was Time Travel, and both Sean and Evan’s new novels have time travel as a component. My newest novel does not, nor did I have any novels that do. So I was anticipating the kind of evening where I would be forced to drop my trousers just to please the crowd, and would then shuffle off the stage, pants around my ankles and tears streaming down my face. As usual.

But then I remembered a story I’d written recently. Not a time-travel story per se, but a story that had the travel through time as a component. This cheered me, and I thought perhaps I might make it through the evening without humiliation after all.

Before the reading, the three of us were penned in away from the crowd for everyone’s safety:

Evan, Sean, Jeff

We look relatively sane and happy, I admit. I got to read first, followed by Sean and then Evan:

Jeff reads Sean reads Evan reads

Then our talented and charming host, Brooks Sherman, gathered us together for a spirited Q&A session, though we don’t appear so happy for this part of the evening, for some reason:

Evan, jeff, Sean look, er, pensive.

For me, this was where the tears started. Brooks’ questions went something like this:

Brooks: Sean, your novels are so complex. I love how you interweave time travel in your latest with self-examination, leaving this reader visibly flushed with excitement after reading it.

Sean: Sorry, was there a question in there?

Brooks: Evan, your novel taught me things about myself I wasn’t aware of. I am a better person for having read your book.

Jeff: Hey, I’ve been sitting here for half an hour, ask me a question!

Brooks: Of course. Er … you talk a lot about pants on your blog. What’s up with that?

And so it goes.

No, seriously, it was a great time. Thanks to brooks and the Tandem Reading Series for inviting me, Sean and Evan for tolerating my presence next to them, and everyone who came out for supporting us all!

Fiction, More Shit I Gotta Do

Jeff In the Wild

Author: November 3, 2011 4 Comments

Yea, verily: I will be taking part in the fantabulous Tandem Reading Series again, along with the awesome Sean Ferrell and the slightly more awesome Evan Mandery:

WHAT: The Time Traveler’s Life

WHERE: The Cell Theatre, 338 West 23 St. (between 8 and 9 Ave.; take the 1, C, E to 23rd St; www.thecelltheatre.org). 212-989-7434. Donation: $5. Or you can hand in a story.

WHEN: Sunday, November 13, 2011, 5pm

Be there and be prepared to be smeared with awesome sauce. At least that’s what we’re calling it.

Fiction, More Shit I Gotta Do

Reading Accomplished

Author: September 11, 2011 0 Comments

So, on Saturday I was invited to read a bit of Avery Cates for the Science Fiction Society of Northern New Jersey at their monthly Face the Fiction event. It was held at Bill Skees’ excellent store The Well Read Bookstore, which is one of the coolest indy bookstores I’ve ever been in. Like last time, I read a chapter from the newest Cates book, then took questions for over an hour. It was a lively conversation.

Of course, I had to have several moments of awkwardness. First, The Duchess and I forgot that this area of New Jersey was still battling severe flooding from all the rain we’ve gotten, so our choice of highway was closed off. Using the Jesus Phone, we plotted not one, not two, but three alternate routes to the store as nature and local government conspired to prevent us from arriving.

Second, when we did arrive, the sign in the front window of the store declared I would be there at 7PM, not 8, which was also a bit awkward. But I have, in fact, read to no one at a store, so I am prepared to endure anything.

Third, the jacket I wore was, unbeknownst to me, covered in cat hair, making me look like some sort of derelict when I walked in, which explains why the owners of the store came at me with brooms, shouting “Shoo! Shoo!” when I first walked in. Finally, during the questions, The Duchess piped up about not liking the ending to The Final Evolution and someone asked her if she’d ever liked any of my endings, and there was a silence that can only be described as awkward.

All good fun.

Here’s some pics. Believe it or not, I am more or less sober in all of them, and wearing pants in most!

The Well Read Bookstore makin' me welcome Books for sale, huzzah!
Jeff attempting not to make an ass of himself. I actually was asked to sign a bunch of books, which will be worth whole dollars someday!
Jeff attempting not to make an ass of himself. I actually was asked to sign a bunch of books, which will be worth whole dollars someday!

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Come Heckle Me

Author: September 4, 2011 0 Comments

As a reminder to all and sundry: I will be reading/talking/stumbling about cursing out in public next Saturday, if anyone finds that sort of thing entertaining:

WHAT: The SFSNNJ Face the Fiction series.

WHERE: Well Read Books, 425 Lafayette Avenue, Hawthorne, NJ 07506; 973-949-3440

WHEN: Saturday, September 10, 2011, 8PM

Come on by and bring something to throw at me. Preferably rolls of money and bottles of liquor. Whatever I can catch unbroken I can keep!

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The F-Bomb Project

Author: August 19, 2011 15 Comments

The F-Bomb ProjectYesterday on Twitter while rambling on pointlessly as usual (my tweets can be boiled down to <joke about pants> + <joke about liquor> + <random comment on what I’m writing> + <link to something vaguely interesting on the Internet> = hilarity) I thought about creating a book trailer where a bunch of people read one line from a passage in The Final Evolution or something, and I spliced them together into a trailer (inspired by this.)

Then Bill Cameron said “If my passage doesn’t have a lot of f-bombs, I’m not doing it. Hahahaha.” And I thought, yes. Let’s create a trailer of people reading just lines with the word fuck in them. I mean, I counted 593 of them in The Final Evolution alone.

Then, I thought, why not make that into a trailer for the whole series? Boom.

So, here’s the deal: Got Avery Cates books? A video camera of some sort? Film yourself reading any line, from any of the books, as long as that line contains an F-Bomb. Send it to me. Everything else is up to you: How you do, where you do it, what line you read, what you’re wearing, how many of you are involved – go nuts. Have fun. All I ask is that when you send me the clip, you identify exactly what line you’re reading by book, page, and line (just to spare me from having to search for each instance). Email everything to mreditor@innerswine.com

I’ll need a bunch of these to make it workable, so I won’t be doing any work on it until I have critical mass. So encourage everyone you know to send me a clip!

Bullshit, More Shit I Gotta Do, Videos

The Final Evolution Excerpt

Author: June 20, 2011 2 Comments

Over at Pat’s Fantasy Hotlist, you can read an entire chapter from the latest Avery Cates novel The Final Evolution:

“Mutterficker!” Kaufman yowled, eyes going wide. “We canna let you go!” His voice had taken on a pitiable quality I didn’t like. “We fuckin’ sold ya, and took the yen already.”

Check it out and let me know what you think! And then buy many, many copies of the book.

Fiction, More Shit I Gotta Do

I Wrote a Thing

Author: June 10, 2011 8 Comments

Over at the Orbit Books Blog, I’ve written a little post about 5 near-future SF movies I think are great. Check it out!

“You know, when the Telegraph called my Avery Cates novels “an action movie in print,” my immediate reaction was, of course, anger and suspicion. What kind of action movie did they mean? Jean-Claude Van Damme? Dolph Lundgren? Surely not . . . Steven Seagal?!?!? Bastards. I would have my revenge, I thought.”

BAM!, Deep Thoughts & Pronouncements, More Shit I Gotta Do