Ask Jeff Anything 9-15-10
Here we go again: This time, my fellow scribe Sean Ferrell (author of the disturbingly good Numb) submits a question clearly designed to provoke an alcoholic rage:
Now, if you’ll excuse me JEFF ANGRY JEFF GO SMASH.
More Shit I Gotta Do
Palmer Vs. Somers, The Final Chapter
Well, mercifully, Orbit has posted the final hunk of video showing the fiasco Phil Palmer and I took part in. You can view it here:
http://www.orbitbooks.net/2010/09/10/somers-vs-palmer-when-authors-collide-final-part/
I’ve been drinking heavily since the filming process began, and crying jags are not uncommon. Okay, niether of those things were ever uncommon, but still. It was traumatic. Can’t wait to see what Phil has to say about these final chapters on his blog.
Palmer Vs. Me Part Four
I can’t even watch any more. Go to the Orbit Books site if you must watch.
http://www.orbitbooks.net/2010/09/09/somers-vs-palmer-when-authors-collide-part-4/
Somers Vs. Palmer Day Three
My erstwhile documentary partner, Philip Palmer, posted this to his blog yesterday:
“I confess that I may have slightly misunderstood the original brief. I remember being told at one point that Jeff and I were going to compare the relative merits (toughness/sexiness/kickassitude) of our two protagonists, namely the intellectually brilliant and astonishingly physically powerful Version 43, and the rather dim-witted always-getting-beaten-up Avery Cates. I took the view that it’s better to be objective and scientific about such questions; so I took the liberty of recruiting the world authority in such matters, Dr Paul Bostock (Professor in Protagonism and Genre Conflict at the Heinlein University, Colorado) to argue, basically, that my protagonist is better than Jeff’s protagonist.
In retrospect, perhaps I was over-achieving a bit there. So once again Jeff – a million apologies! I abase myself, etc etc.”
Can you believe this guy? You might see why the whole project devolved into a shouting match between us. To see the unholy mess collapse right before your eyes, you can check Orbit’s web site, where they’re posting more videos of our failed experiment. Here’s parts two and three:
PART TWO
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ubxGs5D0lfo
PART THREE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3HQ_quCAcdM
Me and Phil Palmer
A few weeks ago, my chipper UK editor Anna Gregson asked me if I’d participate in a little cross-promotion with another Orbit author, the ridiculously talented and charming Philip Palmer, since we both had books coming out within a month of each other (The Terminal State for me; Version 43 for Phil). We were both enthusiastic about the idea, since we admired each other’s work and were on long-distance friendly terms (the best kind for me, as I tend to be inebriated and belligerent in person). Anna suggested we each submit to interviews for a short documentary centering around our main characters – Avery Cates for me and the eponymous Version 43 for Phil. I expected a cheerful, friendly exchange of literary views. Things did not go … as planned.
For a while the publisher considered not doing anything with the footage, but in the end the fact that they’d spent almost $45 American dollars on the project convinced them they had to wring at least some publicity out of the project, so they’ve started posting episodes. Here’s the first one:
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zeyVeagJ7mc)
For one thing, I filmed about 75 hours worth of interviews and submitted about 30 hours of animations. I was told this would show at film festivals and that Orbit was considering buying some TV time to air the edited version. Now it looks like Orbit has edited this down to about twenty minutes of total footage. I am outraged. Someday I am going to get up before noon, put on some pants, and file a lawsuit.
Secondly, I was extremely disappointed in the passive aggressive (and later simply aggressive) manner that Phil Palmer chose to adopt in his filmed portions. I started off a huge fan of Phil Palmer, person and writer. I’m still a fan of the writer.
Reading in NYC 10/10/10
Hola, a quick note: I’ll be reading in public as part of the Tandem Reading Series at The Cell Theater in New York, on Sunday, October 10th, 2010:
http://www.thecelltheatre.org/sunday-sept-12-2010-6pm-tandem-reading-series/
I’ll post again as the date draws closer with more details. I’ll be reading from The Terminal State, and I’m promised there will be cheap wine for all!
A Pool of Sweat is Me
The reading last night at Paper Cone Stories at Jack’s in Manhattan was a blast. A sweaty blast. In typical smoove, classy authorial fashion I worked up a lather of sweat walking over to the place, and then continued to sweat for pretty much the rest of the evening. While actually reading under the lights up front I actually began to drip sweat onto my pages, making them blurry, and ended up my performance by toweling off and mopping my area, in consideration for the other authors. In truth, the reading was a smashing success, and I’m indebted to Sean Ferrell, author of the soon-to-be-released novel Numb, for inviting me to join him at his reading to celebrate the release of his book. We had a blast. A sweaty, sweaty blast.
Some folks from The Internet showed up (Patty Blount brought cookies! COOKIES, people. This is how to attend a reading. Booze works too.) and the place was packed tight with folks. I read first, and spent the first five minutes apologizing because I refused to explain anything about what I was reading despite the fact that it’s the fourth book in a science fiction series, meaning the audience would understand nothing. I made the bold decision to mystify everyone and hope I could get by on charm and charisma alone, which, as usual, failed. You can’t be charming when you’re sweating profusely.
Evan Mandery read second, and was hilarious. Evan also remembered to acknowledge Sean and thank him for the invite to read, as opposed to being a total jackass and leaping up there as if it was all about me. Like I did.
Sean ended the evening by reading part of chapter one of Numb, sitting on a stool that appeared to be slowly spinning away from the audience as he read. I was gratified to see that he was almost as sweaty as me by the end of it. For a moment I was wondering if my diet of bacon grease and booze was finally catching up to my cardiovascular system, but this assured me that I still have the constitution of an 18-year-old.
Afterwards, a group went out for a drink (my wife The Duchess bailed out, knowing full well how those evenings go: Me drunk as a skunk, everyone making obscure jokes about our agent, flat diet coke served up by the bartender) and the evening ended at one in the morning with a plate of freshly fried bacon on the table – nothing else, just bacon – which I eyed with appropriate unease and took as a sign that it was time to go home.
Photos! My lovely, talented, and tolerant wife took these with her iPhone before giving me permission to go out boozing with my agent, Ferrell, and others (After the break):
Reading @ Paper Cone Stories
A reminder that I’ll be out in public again, reading from The Terminal State and making a drunken ass of myself, next week:
WHERE: Paper Cone Stories (138 West 10th, Jack’s Stir Brew in Manhattan)
WHEN: Wednesday, July 28th, 8:00 pm
WHO: Me, the insufferably talented Sean Ferrell, and the insufferably talented Evan Mandery
WIll there be drunken shenanigans, caustic wit, and possible spontaneous pantslessness? It’s been known to happen. Of course, Ferrell and I have been known to drink ourselves unconscious and wake up inexplicably in Coney Island wearing Promise Rings, but the chances of it being that kind of night are low. No more than 25%, tops.
Be there or miss me in my Author Costume (blazer, wrinkled white shirt, jeans) as opposed to my At Home Costume (nude except for running shoes). Ask me if I write like Vladimir Nabokov!
Book Giveaways
To celebrate the upcoming mass market paperback release of The Eternal Prison (Cates #3) on June 29, I’m giving away 10 copies each of the mass market versions of The Electric Church (Cates #1) and The Digital Plague (Cates #2). The giveaway is being run through the fine folks at GoodReads and runs starting today through June 29.
Although bribes are always accepted, the folks at Good Reads will be picking winners, so it won’t avail you much. So surf on over and put in a request. If you win, I could be bribed into signing the copy. Hint: I like liquor and Gibson Les Pauls.
I Didn’t Win. Again.
In a week where all of my posts are centered on me and my writerly activities engaging in competitive literary pursuits, with a severe lack of Deep Thought pieces, I once again am here to report that I did not win anything last night at the Moby Book Trailer Awards.
I wasn’t planning on attending, due to a lot of circumstances involving previously made plans and a very, very, insanely early wake up for me today, but at the last minute Alex over at Orbit emailed saying the orbit crew were attending and would purchase for me alcoholic libations if I attended. So I rallied The Duchess, reorganized our plans, threw on a jacket and headed into the Meat Packing District for the event. It was held at The Griffin, which is a snazzy place. We had to wait on line outside and give our names to security in order to get in. All very swanky. My editor Devi and the extremely talented Creative Director Lauren P. showed up as well, and Alex bought me a couple of whiskies.
The “ceremony” had an air of slapdash about it, but was a lot of fun. The Duchess and I only stayed through my category, and I think everyone felt bad for me when I didn’t win. Heck, I felt bad for me. But all in all: Free booze in a swanky locale? Win. Don’t cry for me, Orbit Books.