Ramblings of Jeff Somers, author
What does jeff do when he’s bored? He creates ridiculous videos and posts them, of course. Because clearly Jeff needs more structure in his life.
Anyway, check out my Day in the Life of a Writer video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZ4syncct44
Now, back to my busy schedule of napping and drinking.
Well, new best friend Ja’Michael Bush attempted to create a Wikipedia page for Your Humble Author here, which lasted about three seconds before the Powers That Be Wikipedia took it down. I never even got to see the actual page. <sniffles, looks away manfully as he masters his emotions> This is getting embarrassing, really. I’ve got what, the 356th best-selling science-fiction noir paperback books in the English-speaking world, and I don’t rank a Wiki? Jeff is the sad clown today.
We might have to splinter off and start Somerspedia. Who’s with me? Hello?
Ah, Monday. My sainted mother tells me that she still wakes up at 6AM every day despite being retired for 20 years now, trained by 40 years of waking up for school, for jobs, for her screaming, bratty kids. Similarly, I figure Monday will always be a drag even when I’m sitting on a yacht somewhere dozing through a good book and a bottle of good Scotch: I’ve been trained to view Monday was a descent into grim struggle.
Today though, there’s something fun to brighten my day: The Digital Plague is part of Bookspot Central’s March Tournament. In round one I’m up against Black Ships by Jo Graham, and after 2 votes (one by my sainted agent) we’re tied 1-1. Get over there and cause a ruckus and GIVE ME MY TITLE. I’m told there’s an engraved trophy, and I’ve never won a Major Award, so I demand everyone go there and make sure I win. Or I will be wrathful.
Twitter has its uses, eh? After tweeting some of my ridiculous schtick (I’ve been using Twitter as a sort of stream-o-consciousness platform, just riffing on whatever random topic comes to mind), this time concerning how I want everyone to send me their battered well-loved copies of my books in return for a pristine new copy. I’d encourage everyone to sign their used copies before sending them to me, and I’d start a little museum of the personalized copies of my books. Sean Ferrell replied with an even better idea: Folks should send me their used copies and I send them a new copy with a different ending.
This is genius. We quickly sketched out a fantastic idea: Publishing a book that had many, many different subtle variations. Like, 250 different versions of the book. We’d tell no one. No announcement, no PR campaign. One person’s copy would have the hero dying in the end, another’s would have him live. Some would be almost identical except for different adjectives used throughout. The point is, we’d tell no one. Slowly, people would start to realize what we’d done.
This would be an amazing idea, a social experiment cum publishing stunt. But of course you’d need a publisher that doesn’t mind being a little ridiculous, and the brass balls to do it all with a straight face. Not to mention possibly invalidating your story completely if there are sixteen different endings and a basic admittance that it doesn’t matter what adjectives you use in that scene.
Still. . .I’m tempted.
Of course, you could do this much easier with an eBook, just serving up randomly selected files from a pool. Still, as Nick Mamatas pointed out on a recent SF Signal mind-Meld, eBooks are overpriced currently ($10 for a file I don’t even actually own, but only ‘license’? Jebus save us) and many are encumbered with DRM. So eBooks currently=Fail. Plus also too, doing this sort of thing with actual printed copies is so much more grand and epic. People could spend years trying to collect ’em all! And then think of the translations!
So, next time you’re reading one of my books, you might want to call up a friend and compare some pages. You never know.
On the Panel I was part of at NYCC, the subject of research and Wikipedia came up. One author scorned Wikipedia, stating that if you want your research to hold up, you need to go to a better source, like Brittanica or something. Another author sneered a little at this, but more or less I think we all basically agreed: Wikipedia is fun and all, but I wouldn’t construct my legal defense from facts glimpsed on that site.
Today, glorious Slashdot gifts us with False Fact On Wikipedia Proves Itself.
This, friends, is why the future is going to be pretty damned confusing. Can you imagine if we ever do develop time travel? The end of civilization. We’d simply never be able to keep track of anything any more.
There’s a short bit over at Tor.com concerning panels at NYCC here.
I’ve only been involved with 1 panel at NYCC in my life, so my experience is quite limited. In general, I agree with the sentiment in the piece – the panel was too big. If your purpose is to let fans interact and question authors in a satisfying way, I think a panel half that size would have been ideal.
On the other hand, we had a big crowd that I got to prance around like a jackass in front of (my favorite promotional technique), and if we cut 5 of those authors would we have done so well? Probably not.
Next time I do a Con, friends, let’s organize our own unofficial Jeff Somers Panel: You guys, me, a tavern. You buy the drinks, I answer the questions, someone volunteers to a) carry me to my hotel room and b) call my wife and explain it’s not my fault.
So, the vids were posted late late last night. Comic Con is exhausting. I’ve heard that it’s become more and more commercialized over the years, and I believe it – in some ways this felt more like a trade show than a fan gathering. Everyone is trying to sell you things. Wonderful things, yes, but still. I felt pretty good that Orbit and I were just giving away books and meeting people – that part was ridiculously fun.
Seeing Lou “The Incredible Hulk” Ferrigno sitting lonely behind 150 feet of empty rope-line, waiting for someone to pay for his autograph? Not so much. I heard he was there for 8 hours. Obviously, that’s part of his job, what he does, but couldn’t they make it look friendlier? No harm in paying for autographs, but why did they have to set everything up like visiting hours at prison? I’m not famous, of course, but it seemed much more fun to have people crowded around the Orbit booth, shaking hands and cracking jokes.
My publisher, Orbit, and its duly appointed representatives, Alex and Dongwon, are AWESOME, despite the fact that Alex’s first question to me was “Did you really bring a flask?” and when I told him I’d forgotten it he sneered “You’re all talk!” I forgive him. I’m bringing the damn flask today, dammit, and will thus be drunk by the time my panel begins. I’m thinking something along the lines of My Favorite Year:
THEM: So, Mr. Somers, what about your influences as a writer?
ME: I’m not a writer, I’m a GENRE NOVELIST!
Or, er, something.
All I can say is, Alex and company make you feel good about being a cog in the industrial entertainment machine.
The folks in costume were fun, and not as prevalent as I would have imagined. Someday folks will be dressed as Monks, even if I have to pay them. Though I kept my eye out for the Death Note kid. If I see him, I’m high-tailing it out of there.
Anyway, we’re off to Day 2 in a bit. I will once again be twittering as I wander, and filming, and more vids will be posted tonight. Eventually I’m going to edit all the vids into a modest 5 minute little film, complete with some music and subtitles etc. Gonna be fun. As before: If you’re attending, find me. I’ll try to twitter my movements, though it’s hard because we actually don’t stay anywhere too long (unless The Duchess has found a deep vein of merch to mine) but I’ll try. And of course I’m doing the panel at 1:30 and a signing/book giveaway at the autograph area afterward, so if nothing else that is definitely where I’ll be. Probably sitting lonely and dejected while people crowd around others, so take pity on me.
The videos I’ve taken are too large to post right now, so I’ll have to shrink ’em tonight and post them later. Forn now, know this: I just signed like 50 books for folks and my hand hurts, and we’re now going to wander around looking for coolness. Vids to follow later!
J
Gosh, make a few jokes about boozing and wearing no pants, and you get a reputation. Who knew? Recently, I’ve been getting every news item including a pantsless man sent to me by helpful fans. Just this morning, I’m enjoying my coffee and Damaso sends me a link to this:
http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,23739,25008189-5013016,00.html, “Red face, blue undies – man stuck up tree with no pants”
Along with this note: “If this had been in Jersey I would know it was you.”
Laugh it up, Internets, laugh it up. My fame as the Pantsless Writer is cemented!