Herewith some random photos of bookshelves in my house. Why? Why not. These are just a few. There are many, many more. And people wonder why I’m lukewarm about eBooks.

More after the break.

(more…)

Since my cats have very short memories and no sense of time, I believe that about five minutes after The Duchess and I leave the house they start to think the Apocalypse has occurred. I figure five minutes after we step out one of them rises up as a prophet of doom, telling how the Shaved Can Monkeys have abandoned us. About ten minutes in, there’s widescale wrestling and hissing and several cats take up positions by the dwindling food bowls, ready to pounce on intruders. Half an hour in, it’s Kitten Thunderdome.

I figure this solely from the reactions when I return to the house: First there is a sort of frozen awe, as if they can’t believe it – I am risen! Then there is what can only be described as joy, followed by a determined guidance to the food bowls so that I may be aware of the dire conditions they have survived fro thirty minutes. Then I feed them, and there is a feast, just like in most religions.

Carry on.

Well, we seem to be surviving:

Jeff Somers – Wikipedia

Jeff Somers is an American science fiction author from New Jersey. Since 1995, Somers has published his zine The Inner Swine and has been a prolific contributor to alt.zines. The 21st century has seen Somers’s transformation from an observational essayist into a science fiction writer of no small talent, “a gifted craftsman” with a “funky wit.”

Although we’re marked for “speedy deletion, whis is worrying. DAMN THEIR EYES. We will triumph. Um, won’t we?

I think there may have been a second page that folks were editing, so if that’s the case, I’m sorry, but THAT page, the one you were working on, appears to have bitten the dust.

Onward! I owe everyone who works on this a beer. SOmehow I will fly around the world delivering alcohol, I swear.

FRIENDS, I realize I am not William Shakespeare or John Steinbeck, Charles Stross or Fred Saberhagen, but I demand my Wikipedia entry.

I had one, once. Heck, I had two over the years. Both deleted because I am not ‘notable’. Which is ridiculous, as I am very notable for a number of notable things. Admittedly, most of those things include the words pantslessness and obscure, but I’m still damned notable in my own strange way. I mean, I’ve published four novels and more than twenty short stories, a zine continuously since 1995, and a comic book.

Meanwhile, I have no Wikipedia entry. Meanwhile, there’s this.

So, I’m laying down the gauntlet: I’m going to sulk and complain until some Hero steps forward to add me to this ridiculous compendium of unreliable knowledge. I don’t care if the article is complimentary or filled with libel, if it’s fact-based or filled with unicorns and fantasy. As long as the guidelines are followed so the article doesn’t get deleted, I’ll be happy.

Because I have no Wikipedia Page. Meanwhile, there’s this.

I’ve set up a little widget on the side to monitor my WP status. Until an hero shows up to save me from obscurity, I will keep this blog on a war footing. Spread the word! Obscure author demands his due. Because if this is considered notable, then I submit that I am equally notable. Although possibly less horrible.

UPDATE 8-3-09: Damaso tried, and the page was deleted within moments. One starts to suspect an anti-Jeff Somers faction over at WP.

UPDATE 2 8-3-09: Jon Gawne, bless him, has created a preliminary page for me [http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Jgawne/Jeffrey_Somers&action=edit] which he thinks may help if people add material to it. Thanks, Jon!

Okay, I’ve pondered this and contemplated and I am now ready to state that I think the publisher’s decision to change the color of the cover for the trade paper The Eternal Prison from skin-burning orange to rot-inducing green was the right one. I look at the three books side by side and I think the orange would have been too much on that end of the spectrum:

OR

The green pops when you have all three on a shelf. Which I assume you all have.

DON’T FORGET: I’ll be tweeting an Avery Cates Short Story over at twitter.com/somers_story starting on 8/5. I’ll tweet each section at noon every day. Sign up to follow me there and enjoy/be irritated by fiction at 140 characters a pop!

Someday maybe I’ll start writing Avery Cates short stories that are 140 characters in total. That would. . .be interesting.

THE ETERNAL PRISON is now being shipped from Amazon, so it’s going to start appearing everywhere soon. Sales are brisk, so get yours now. We’re cooking up some web fun to go along with the “official” release date of 8-12-09, although we might move that up by a week since the book’s shipping, eh? Keep an eye on www.eternalprison.com until then.

CAT UPDATE: The cats are better, thanks, though no more happy about their medications. Our cats weigh 17, 17, 19, and 9 pounds. Carrying Guenther down the stairs is like carrying a bear cub. Jeff needs power bars and rest. And perhaps an exercise regimen, eh?

I’m trying to think of promotion ideas for TEP as well. Do you think people would want to fly me to their cities at their expense to have “Beer Summits” with them? Hmmmn? And then they could buy 50 copies of the book and I’d sign them in an increasingly drunk and incoherent way. Which, you will note, does not guarantee that the first signatures won’t be incoherent too.

Think about it. I could be passed out in your bathroom!

Have a great weekend.

J

i know the mechanics of death better than anybody