BAM!

New Reps, Huzzah!

Just about one year ago to the day, we lost Janet Reid, who’d been my agent since 2002. Janet was a hoot to work with, pushed my writing to be better, and brimmed with ideas to make me into a literary superstar. I was deeply saddened by her passing. And, of course, it left me kind of floating about with no representation. I hadn’t queried an agent in 23 years! When I last sought an agent, I sent out hardcopy query letters and sample pages. Let that sink in: I mailed hardcopies.

I am old.

I was initially reluctant to think about a new agent, but I’ve got stories to tell and I’d prefer to make a little money by telling them, so I had to think about the future. Plus, I only look smart. I am actually quite stupid, at least when it comes to stuff like contracts and career decisions and selling my work. I need guidance, is what I’m saying.

I’d met the brilliant and hilarious Barbara Poelle at various literary events over the years; she and Janet were great friends, and I always enjoyed Barbara when we hung out. She’s smart and always pretended I was funny. I asked her if she’d look at a project Janet and I had been working on, and she graciously agreed. This being 2024, I was able to just email it to her.

A few weeks later she called to say she loved the book, but thought its real potential was in a different category, and she asked if she could bring in Pam Gruber from Highline Literary Collective to partner with her. Since I am a sucker for any sort of attention, I was excited about this: Not just one brilliant agent, but two? SIGN ME UP. Plus, I immediately imagined having two people buying me cocktails on a regular basis, which as we all know if the true way to my heart.

We’ve spent a few months discussing direction and reviewing revision cycles, and now I’m extremely excited to say that I now have two literary agents: Barbara Poelle and Pam Gruber. And I couldn’t be luckier, honestly. I definitely need a team of people to stop me from destroying my career on a regular basis, so this augurs well for 2025. The alternative was probably me standing at the entrance to the Holland Tunnel with a bag full of self-published books, throwing them at passing cars who foolishly left their windows down.

As for the secret project, let’s just say it involves cats. As all books should, honestly.

Avery Cates: The Ghost Fleet

Avery Cates: The Ghost Fleet cover

GUESS WHO’S BACK: Well, I suppose it’s not much of a riddle since I put it in the title of this post. but, yes, Avery Cates is back in another novella: THE GHOST FLEET. This is part three of what will eventually be the novel THE MACHINES OF WAR (Part One was THE BLACK WAVE, Part Two was THE LAST MILE). Here’s the summary:

Avery Cates and his shrinking number of allies have made it to Cochtopa, the secret installation crammed with enough high-tech murder to trade blows with the ArchAngel — but Cochtopa’s AI security is a digital imprint of none other than Dick Marin, the King Worm himself.

Now it’s a race against time as Marin seeks to snuff out Avery for good and Cates struggles to claim the prize he’s sacrificed so much for. As Avery claws his way to victory, however, he’s reminded that every win comes with a price — a price usually paid by the people around him.

If that ain’t enough to entice you, here’s a teaser trailer, because I am god of my WordPress:

Out for pre-order, officially out December 15th. Enjoy!

AMA | B&N | KOBO | PLAY

The Department of Useless Endeavors

Lord knows I’ve never let failure or obscurity stop me from pushing Somers Thought onto the world. In fact, the more the world obnoxiously ignores Somers Thought, the harder I push it out there in whatever form it takes.

As some of you may know, I occasionally release music under the name The Levon Sobieski Domination, a band with exactly one member (one and a half if you count the program I use to sequence the drums). No one really cares, which is hurtful, but I do it anyway because I firmly believe that if you create something, you should put it out there. Otherwise, what’s the point?

So, The Levon Sobieski Domination keeps on truckin’. I’m about to release their ninth album — it’ll show up on Spotify and elsewhere soon — and to celebrate I went ahead and worked on another futile project no one ever pays attention to: A video constructed entirely from stock clips. Here’s “Blackout Eve” from The Levon Sobieski Domination:

The Levon Sobieski Domination: Blackout Eve

“Blackout Eve” by The Levon Sobieski Domination from the album “The Levon Sobieski Domination IX”

The name Levon Sobieski goes back a long way. If you are actually named Levon Sobieski, I apologize in advance. Back when I was publishing my zine, The Inner Swine, I created a persona for myself which was sort of an alcoholic, shambolic Bond Villain with a dash of Hugh Hefner: Jeff Somers was a tyrannical zine publisher who ran a shadowy global empire. I imagined a cast of bizarre characters who populated the Inner Swine compound, and one of those characters was a guy named Levon Sobieski, an Eastern European man I had kidnapped and forced to work as a custodian. Levon would pop up with commentary from time to time, usually expressing deep unease and befuddlement at my drunken antics.

Yes, this is how a grown man spent his time. What’s your point?

Anyways, a decade or so ago when I started to take guitar playing seriously and formed the totally imaginary band I chose Levon Sobieski in part as a link to that past era of my life, and in part because the idea of a middle-aged custodian fronting a rock band was humorous to me.

I hop y’all enjoy the song and the video, and keep an eye out for The Levon Sobieski Domination IX, coming soon.

Avery Cates: The Black Wave

So, a new Avery Cates book is brewing.

I can’t seem to quit this guy. The Black Wave is Part One of the novel The Machines of War, which currently has no ETA. Once again, I’m doing the novella-release thing, where I write a portion of the novel and release itmore or less warm from the oven. When it’s complete, I’ll release the “omnibus” edition which will be the entire novel collected together.

As usual, the novellas are eBook-only. The full novel will be released in both digital and print formats.

I’ve been doing this novella thing since 2014, and on the one hand it’s marketing chaos — there are a ton of Avery stories floating out there. On the other hand, from a creativity POV it’s been fantastic. Not feeling tied to completing an entre novel is very freeing, as I can hang back and wait for inspiration and excitement to happen. For this one, the opening sequence hit me and I liked it so much I started writing. Before I knew it I had 20,000 words.

Here’s the logline:

Avery Cates is heading back to The Iron Island to steal what might be the last operational hover in what was once The System, but his rag-tag army is starting to fray — and there are more System leftovers out there than he knows. And most of them aren’t very friendly.

Available for pre-order at the usual places:

AMZN | BN | KOBO | PLAY

Officially out on November 15, 2021. Enjoy!

Detained: A Novel

HAPPY NEW YEAR, boys and girls! I hope y’all made it through 2020 without too many scars. As we slide into 2021’s DMs I’ve decided to try another little literary experiment: I’m going to post a novel chapter by chapter here on the wee blog this year. One chapter a week every Monday, starting next week.

It’s called Detained, a thriller with a dash (well, more than a dash) of sci-fi:

The employees and patrons of a remote rural bar get the shock of their lives when they’re unexpectedly and violently detained by a secretive military unit. The soldiers think this will be easy duty, but some of the people they’re detaining have unexpected skills … and when they fight back, things take a turn for the deadly — and the very, very weird.

I write a lot, and sometimes novels fall by the wayside because I either can’t figure out who would want to publish them or because they’re missing … something, usually quite mysterious. This is one of those novels.

I’ll be posting it here weekly, which will take us through to December. Each chapter will also include download links for PDF, MOBI, and EPUB files for that chapter. Then when the whole thing’s been posted I’ll make a complete novel version available as a complete PDF, MOBI, and EPUB download right here on the site for free. I hope you enjoy!

Avery Cates: The Devil’s Bargain Preorder

The Devil’s Bargain is part two of the new Avery Cates novel, The Burning City, and it’s available to preorder in all the usual places; officially out on 8/15/19.

Like The Shattered Gears before it, I’m writing The Burning City as a series of novellas that I’m releasing as I finish them. It’s a fun, different way to work on a novel, and I’m enjoying the process a lot. As with TSG, once all four parts of the new novel are out in digital format I’ll collect them into a standalone novel that will be available in print and digital formats. So you can either buy these one at a time as they drop, or wait for the full book.

I’m jazzed. Are you jazzed? <jazz hands as he backs away>

AMAZON | B&N | KOBO | PLAY

Avery Cates: The New World

So, I can’t quit Avery Cates, and the last experiment in form — writing a novel as a series of novellas that linked together — was so much fun, and so successful, I’ve decided to do it again.

Like last time, the plan is to write this story in several big chunks which will then be collected into an omnibus like The Shattered Gears. Each separate novella will be released independently so you can either read them as I drop them, or wait for the collected novel, which will be titled The Burning City. The first part is The New World, and it’ll hit online stores on May 15th. This is a direct sequel to The Shattered Gears; there will be one more book after this, as well.

Beyond The New World, I don’t have a clear schedule. These will get written as time permits, so I can’t say when exactly the next part will come, or when the omnibus will turn up. Watch this space and I’ll keep y’all apprised.

In the mean time, you can pre-order The New World for 99 cents at Amazon, B&N, Kobo, and (soon) Google Play. Huzzah!

Writing Without Rules Launch

BAM!

We had the launch event for Writing Without Rules last night, at the totally awesome Little City Books in Hoboken, New Jersey last night, and it was awesome! Beer, wine, and whiskey, Jeff sweating profusely in front of a crowd, The Duchess taking charge and orchestrating everything, my agent gently mocking me from the front row — what could be better?

If you missed it, here are some incredible photos taken by the incredible Bruce Meier.