Author Archive: jsomers

Jeff Somers (www.jeffreysomers.com) was born in Jersey City, New Jersey and regrets nothing. He is the author of Lifers, the Avery Cates series published by Orbit Books, Chum from Tyrus Books, and We Are Not Good People from Pocket Books. He sold his first novel at age 16 to a tiny publisher in California which quickly went out of business and has spent the last two decades assuring potential publishers that this was a coincidence. Jeff publishes a zine called The Inner Swine and has also published a few dozen short stories; his story “Sift, Almost Invisible, Through” appeared in the anthology Crimes by Moonlight, published by Berkley Hardcover and edited by Charlaine Harris. His guitar playing is a plague upon his household and his lovely wife The Duchess is convinced he would wither and die if left to his own devices.

Review Revue

Well, The Digital Plague is out there, folks, and that means reviews are comin’ in. Here are a couple of the more interesting ones to come my way recently:

– Paul Di Filippo ran his eye over it at Sci Fi Weekly: Not completely laudatory, but any review that contains the line “Still, let it never be said that Somers is not a daring writer” makes my toes curl.

Fantasy Book Critic took a swing at it as well: “I immensely enjoyed the book—even more than “The Electric Church”—and my adrenaline is already pumping for the next Avery Cates adventure” HUZZAH!

Reviews are funny things; on the one hand when I see one come across the transom I get a thrill, because someone is talking about a book I wrote. On the other hand, you hate to read them because they might say something really disheartening, and then you have to on an epic drinking binge, waking up three weeks later in Panama wearing someone else’s suit. It puts a dent in the writing time. And also too the brain cells.

J

Xerography Debt

I suddenly realize that I have been shockingly lame in not plumping for Xerography Debt. What is Xerogaphy Debt? Heathen. XD is a zine-review zine, which is to say it is a DIY, underground publication that reviews other DIY, underground publications. They’ve reviewed my zine, The Inner Swine, many times, and for the last few issues I’ve contributed a kick-ass column called It Means Its Wank. No, really, that’s the title.

Fun fact: XD used to be called Xerox Debt until they got flack from Xerox about the trademark. Seriously.

There are thousands of zines out there, folks. Like anything else numbered in the thousands, most are crap. The rest can offer perspectives and writing you just won’t see anywhere else – finding the gems among the chaff is the trick. And that’s where a zine like XD comes in – the reviews give you something to go on when sending dollar bills in the mail for ziney treats. There are other zine-review zines out there – Zine World being the  yang to XD’s ying – as well as purely zine-review web sites, like Zine Thug. But naturally, since I have a column in XD, I think it’s the best. The best! Plus also too, Davida, the main force behind XD, is super cool. Plus also also too, she just started a blog for Xerography Debt, which I occasionally post to. I don’t get invited to contribute to too many blogs, because of the cursing. And the drunkenness. And the inexcusable inability to spell. So when it happens, I get very emotional about it.

If you’re curious about zines and DIY publishing, check out XD and maybe order something that looks interesting. Why not? For two bucks and a stamp you might discover something amazing. You might also get a crudely illustrated diary from a very boring person. Not knowing is part of the adventure of zines!

Love/Hate

On the one hand, I hate this guy because he had a better idea than I ever have about promoting my books, and he did it 500% better than I ever could have even if I’d had the idea, which I did not. On the other hand, this is hilarious. The more you know about being a non-Stephen King level writer, the funnier this gets:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxschLOAr-s

This also serves to remind me of all the things I could be doing to try and force you all to pay some damn attention to me. But then I drink a beer or two and get sleepy, and poof! One more day gone.

Via

Joey Reynolds

Well, having been promoted from 2AM show-up time to 1AM (although I don’t think I hit the air until 2:15AM, with The Duchess sleeping in the lobby on one of the couches), the Suffering Wife and I headed into Manhattan last night so I could guest on the Joey Reynolds Show, which is always a blast. It’s always a group of really bizarre, interesting people in there. I feel like I barely say three words, because everyone’s just riffing and chatting – fun, but kind of intimidating. Joey himself is a prince of a guy, especially the way he keeps repeating my name and book title. Huzzah!

Instead of general MP3s of the show, I thought I’d post the best part of the whole night, which was Joey reading my entire Long Bio. I have several bios – everyone always wants a bio when you’re out there hat in hand begging for newspaper stories or interviews or radio appearances. Sometimes they want ten words and sometimes they want five hundred, so I’ve Long Bios, Short Bios, Medium Bios, and even Bios for specific venues. Last night, just for yuks, Joey was moved to read my Long Bio on the air, meaning I now have my bio read by a professional radio voice:

Joey Reynolds Reads Jeff’s Bio

Isn’t that cool? Now, whenever I get asked to tell my story at readings and such, I’m going to have a little MP3 player with this loaded on it, and I’ll just let Joey tell the tale. THIS ROCKS.

Now: Sleep. Got home at 3:30AM. Anyone listen live? If so, let me know – personally, I think I sound like a dork on the radio. But perhaps I am wrong, and I merely sound like a Nerd.

Interviewed by Nerds

No, seriously–Rescued by Nerds has interviewed me and posted the resulting brilliance for all to see here. A sampling:

 “What happened, of course, was that after five wonderful years lazing around college as an English Major, the idea of actually working for a living horrified me, so I took the lowest-paying job that utilized and required only my word skills, which meant I could do the job half asleep.”

Huzzah! Check it out.

Bumped

If you’re wondering why I wasn’t on the Joey Reynolds Show last night, well, I got bumped. This is what happens when approximately 99.99% of the population is marginally more famous than you actually are.

The good news is, I’m rebooked for tonight, at 1AM.  So the magic of Jeff on the radio is not lost to the universe.

WHERE: Joey Reynolds, 710 AM WOR
WHEN: May 13, 2008 @ 1AM (so it’s really technically morning of 5/14)
http://www.wor710.com/pages/46370.php

Later.

In the Wild

Well, looks like TDP is out all over the place. This just came in from Alex:

TDP on da shelf

HUZZAH! Go forth and buy them out. On a side note, I can’t believe my book is next to Tad Williams. I can remember buying Tad Williams’ books when I was a kid. Dayum.

Reminder: Joey Reynolds

Just a note to remind anyone who cares that I will be on the real, live radio next week:

WHERE: Joey Reynolds, 710 AM WOR
WHEN: May 12, 2008 @ 1AM (so it’s really technically morning of 5/13)
http://www.wor710.com/pages/46370.php

If you’re awake, tune in and listen to me stammer and splutter. Authors should never be allowed onto broadcast media, my friends.

Rescued by Nerds Lurves The Digital Plague

Heyo,

Mike from the cool site Rescued by Nerds (a part of www.yourmomsbasement.com) has posted a nice early review of The Digital Plague:

The Digital Plague – Jeff Somers burst onto the scene with last years The Electric Church featuring hitman Avery Cates trying to survive in a monolithic, dystopian future. Avery returns in the fast paced, blood soaked sequel that features a nanotech virus designed to kill the world. Everything I loved about The Electric Church is here in spades. If you like noirish post cyberpunk in the vein of Richard Morgan or Jon Courtenay Grimwood TDP is right up your alley.”

Huzzah! Mike also interviewed me for the site, so keep your eye out for that in a week or so.

I’ve been hearing rumors of The Digital Plague being out on shelves already – if you see one, take a pic and send it to me!

Footloose and Fancy Free

Well, just finished the first draft of The Eternal Prison, Avery Cates #3. And, who knows, possibly Avery Cates Terminus, you know? I’m only contracted for 3 books, so future installments in that man’s slow descent into a violent and painful death (you know it’s inevitable) are, for the moment, theoretical. I have ideas, though.

Of course, first draft just means I’ve stopped writing for a few days while 2 or 3 trusted minions read it and deliver to me their comments. Then I take their comments, get drunk, and if I agree with anything I revise again before sending it on to my editor. That’s when the real nail-biting begins, because if I get a 33-page memo from her about what she doesn’t like about the manuscript, the drinking begins in earnest, baby.

Meanwhile, we just sold Italian rights for The Digital Plague, which means a slightly better chance that I’ll earn out the advance and not be kidnapped and held hostage by my Corporate Masters, locked in a crawlspace for weeks, living on pipe runoff and rat carcases while my wife struggles to raise the eleventy billion dollars they demand for my safe return. We’re huge in Italy! And thank god we’re huge somewhere.

And, as a random thought, I watched Frank Darabont’s The Mist last night. I’d read King’s story eons ago, and thought the film was very well done. The ending, which differs from the original, was a goddamn kick to the head though. I was flabbergasted. In a good way. If I’d been drunker I would have wept, but luckily I was somewhat sober.