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Struck Gold

The Electric ChurchAs with most authors, all of being selfish self-obsessed bastards, I am always delighted when someone reviews my books favorably. Especially when they review books that originally came out 5 years ago, like The Electric Church:

“Mr. Jeff Somers has struck gold with his book The Electric Church . . .  I had a lot of fun with this book and look forward to reading the sequels. I highly recommend this to any sci/fi fan.”

Well, bam. I’m pulling together some arcana to add to the official Avery Cates Series Web Page – just some random things created many many years ago and still on my hard drives. Until then, go buy some copies so I can giggle when the pennies shoot out of the pneumatic tube I’ve set up between me and my agent’s office.

First Review of Trickster

Trickster by Jeff SomersThe author is always the last to know: Apparently there are real live galleys of Trickster out there, because someone just posted the first review. Five stars on GoodReads, baby!

“I loved the world Mr. Somers hsa created, and his perfectly IMperfect characters, and I WILL be reading any sequels the moment I can get my greedy little hands on them.”

Score! Go buy ten. Papa needs liquor monies.

Sleep No More & The Value of Thoughtful Details

Sleep No MoreSo: Sleep No More. Know what it is? Aces, let’s begin.

I went to see this the other day with The Duchess, because it was her birthday and The Duchess likes adventure. I was excited because it was just so creepy and mysterious, and I like the idea of immersive massive entertainments. I just wish they weren’t so damn expensive. But then, dozens of actors, endless sets, all that space – I suppose it adds up. Let it drift.

What I was mostly excited about, to be honest, were the details: We were encouraged to be hands-on. Open the drawers, read the letters. Touch the fabrics. Climb into things, get wet. Get dirty. My impression was that these sorts of investigations would reward you, that you’d discover secrets, clues. That ransacking the sets would not only be extremely fun, but would lead you in all sorts of cool directions.

I was wrong.

The Duchess and I were let out on the ballroom floor along with a dozen or so others. We headed towards the music, naturally, and watched the dance turn tragic. When the actors split up, we followed Duncan for a bit, and I immediately began a systematic search of everything. I put my mitts into every possible thing, tried everything. As I moved through the space for the first hour, I literally investigated every nook and cranny I could find, hoping to be rewarded. Once or twice I was even stopped by some of the Black Masks from doing something I was apparently not supposed to do — though how in the world I would ever have known the rules remains a mystery.

Ultimately, I figured out that none of the objects placed in the rooms meant anything, other than as background color, and this is where Sleep No More fails. Don’t get me wrong: I enjoyed myself tremendously, and the actors are extremely talented. The scenes I did get to witness were hypnotic and passionate. The set dressing is amazing on a purely visual level — you really do get the feeling of being in another world. But the fact that the touchable objects in the rooms were just dumb show was so disappointing. Details are important when telling a story. Details can often make or break a story. But when the details turn out to all be red herrings, every single one, then the whole thing falls apart and you realize you’re not in another world. You’re in a warehouse surrounded by black drapery while a few dozen sweaty audience members attempt to chase after an athletic young actor sprinting through the halls.

It’s the same in novel writing. Details can mesmerize your reader and make them think they’re entering another world. And dense, layered details can enhance that feeling. But if your details are just there, if they don’t actually increase their understanding of the universe you’ve created, then it’s just clutter, and your reader will weary of them.

In the end, I can see why some folks really enjoy Sleep No More. It’s an amazing production, and I did really enjoy myself. But I suspect I personally witnessed about 5% of the story despite my sweaty efforts, and I got tired of trooping up and down stairs with fifty other people in masks, only to arrive on the next floor with no idea where the actors I’d been following had run off to. Finally, the emptiness of the details left me cold. If there had been clues and surprises, I would have been content to sift them, to pretend I was in this ghost world, investigating. Who knows; maybe there were – it’s a huge space, and I wouldn’t be surprised at all to discover I’d missed a million things.

Plus, the drinks were outrageously overpriced in the spooky lounge area. Damn their eyes.

Tuesday is Guitar Day

Epiphone Les Paul CustomHey, you know what super mega fun thing I haven’t done in a while? Post my crappy guitar music! YES! You lived long enough to see this day. Congrats.

Herewith:

Song510
Song511
Song513
Trickster Theme (Full)
Song514
Song516
Song522
Song523
Song525
Song526

The usual disclaimer: 1. I admit these are not great music; 2. I claim copyright anyway, so there; 3. No, I cannot do anything about the general quality of the mix, as I am incompetent.

The Worst Whiskies in the World Part One

Many people exist in this world with a purpose, to make the place better for those who come after them. I’ve never been one of those people. I was, in fact, kind of bummed to have an epiphany at age 28 and realize I was not only not immortal, but I was not even living in a universe custom-create for me. I was just one of several billion shlubs muddling through, and that was kind of depressing. Then followed a period of Super Villainy, where I not only didn’t try to help my fellow man or improve the world, I actively tried to ruin both.

But now I am mature. And I am here to do what I can to help. How can I help? I considered my talents: Rare and often not obviously useful. I can, for example, almost remember your name after meeting you just four or five times. It’s eerie. Also, I can do simple algebra equations in my head, so if four ounces of chicken has ninety calories, I can tell you how many calories three ounces has. Every time.

Still, none of these talents seemed like the sort of thing that would help the world in a significant way. So I despaired for a while and turned to writing, and we all know the damage I’ve done there. And then it hit me: If there’s one thing I know something about, it’s booze. And I’ve had a lot of really, really awful whiskies in my time. Why not share that horrible knowledge and spare my fellow man such suffering?

Of course, even there I fail, because I am not a fancy man who can tell you things like how whiskey is made or what it is, exactly, I am tasting. I have the palate of a bum used to drinking moonshine and antifreeze. All I know is whether I would gnaw off my own foot to escape further shots of a whiskey or not.

So, our first candidate is a German whiskey called Slyrs. German whiskey! Next thing you know we’ll have a lady president or something! No, seriously: German whiskey. Rather than bore you with a befuddled and confusing essay about the horrors going on in my mouth when I drink Slyrs, I thought I would use a simple video representation of the fact that if told I had to either drink instantaneously fatal poison made from the crushed testicles of dung beetles or drink another shot of Slyrs, I would choose the poison without hesitation.

Here’s the visual of that reaction:

You’re welcome.

The Role of Terror and Jealousy in Writing

Trickster by Jeff SomersSo, I have a new book series coming out from Pocket Books. Trickster will be out in early 2013 and its sequel will follow. Also a digital-only short story in-between the two novels. I really excited, of course. These will be my seventh and eighth novels published, and let me tell you, right up until I sign the contract for the ninth I will be convinced they are also my last. That’s how it goes.

Here’s the story of Trickster in timeline format:

1995: I write a story titled The Night will Echo Back at You which deals with magic spells cast via blood sacrifice in the modern world. I never submit it anywhere. It’s one of those stories that I like in concept but is kind of dull in actual execution.

1996-2010: Nothing much happens. I drink a lot. Sell some other pieces of writing.

2010: Having finished the final Avery Cates book, The Final Evolution, I go to Bouchercon in San Francisco ostensibly to try to expand my audience into the thriller/mystery crowd but really so I can follow my agent around and surreptitiously order booze on her dime all day long (it worked!). Bouchercon teaches me two things: No one knows who the hell I am, and there’s no guarantees that I’ll ever sell another book. I was suddenly incredibly jealous of all the authors around me who had bigger followings, and terrified that I’d never publish again. The sheer energy of everyone around me busily promoting their work got under my skin.

I’d been planning to expand upon this old story anyway. Terrified and jealous, I wrote 10,000 words on the plane ride home. Most of those words survived into the final version of the book. That doesn’t always happen.

Fear is a great motivator for me when I write. Fear that it will suck, that no one will ever read it, that I’m actually not nearly as good a writer as I think I am. It gets the juices flowing, let me tell you. Some books get written peacefully over the course of years. Some burst out in an explosion of terror. I think I’ve done good work both ways, but I also suspect that fear is always down there, bubbling, churning the wheel that drives it all. Even if I’m not bug-eyed terrified like I was on that flight home, chugging tiny bottles of bourbon and garnering suspicious glances from the flight attendants (the strip search in Newark airport upon landing was no fun) the fear is still there, driving me.

It seems pretty obvious to me that if you’re satisfied, you don’t do anything. Maybe this is why so many artists bog down in middle age and stop producing good work; they hit a certain level of material comfort and are satisfied. Fear comes in many forms, and for some maybe the fear of starving to death is all it takes. Me, I don’t mind starving to death. Being ignored for the rest of my life is what gets my goat. I could live in a dumpster and drink antifreeze (not as bad as you might think – it’s got an oakey, spicey finish) and be okay with that. Tell me I’ll never sell another book and I’ll burst into tears.

The real question is, does the type and level of fear have anything to do with the level of work you produce? As an experiment perhaps I should be locked in a cage with two hungry bears and a laptop. See what happens. Well, we know exactly what happens: Bear porn. Don’t ask.

 

Interview with Little Old Me

Larry Gent interviewed me a while ago and the glorious results have been posted:

http://42webs.wordpress.com/2012/08/13/panic-view-jeff-somers/

What is your favourite book/author? Why?

I don’t have one! I do have writers I am hatefully jealous of, and would kidnap, Misery-style, at the first opportunity. But I should probably not implicate myself in any future mysterious kidnappings of famous authors, so let’s change the subject. To your original question. Which I suspect you are impatient for an answer to. I just ended that sentence with a preposition. I am a horrible writer. Yes, I’m a little drunk.”

Go read it. Because I am fascinating.