Contact

Jeff Somers
POB 3024
Hoboken, NJ 07030
jdxs@jeffreysomers.com

On Twitter: @jeffreysomers

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jeffreydxsomers

For Rights Inquiries:

Janet Reid
FinePrint Lit
115 West 29th, 3rd Floor
New York, NY 10001
212 279 1776
janet@fineprintlit.com

24 Comments

  1. Tom Brookes

    Hi, unfortunately I couldn’t think of a better way to begin this… or write it, but hopefully someone will take note of it all the same. I’ve read the entirety of the Avery Cates series and rate it highly. I am a tremendous fan of the series and the dark setting. Therefore I have come here to have my own writing rated. I’m not sure as to whether it’s any good or how much improvement is needed or can be made upon it. I’ve just turned 16 and it’s one of the first pieces of poetry I’ve ever written. Any feedback is welcomed:

    King of Clowns

    The King of Clowns sat upon his vibrant throne, his painted smile exuding happiness. The lipstick, long rivers of deep red, immaculately grafted to his features. Behind the jolly exterior sat the truth; an open mouth would reveal the harsh reality, a fact that no amount of false pretence could hide. A forked tongue and yellow, cracked, bloodstained teeth hidden from all by his excited mirage. He knew however he could not hide the truth of his eyes. So he put them away, in a purse hung on his lap. He hid them from view, pretending the gems drawn upon his eyelids would fool those who sought his guidance. In his right hand he held a sceptre. It stood regal, crafted from valuable metals and rare gemstone. Upon the tip of his staff hung bells, sat there at his own expense, for the madmen and jesters of his court to laugh at. Keeping them distracted from his lies and deceptions. In his left hand he held his heart. Torn from his chest by jagged talons, sharpened upon his fingertips. The rhythm of it’s own work caused the pump to bleed. Though the veins and arteries were simply ties; left to connect the article to the black chasm in his chest, now left barren and empty like the void. He wanted it gone, to free it and give it away, to have it salvaged from his torso. Though the day it was taken, he knew he would die. Upon its removal he would never be seen as whole by its saviour. In the mortuary the physicians would wash away the smile that donned his lips. They would find the truth in his eyes and the reality behind his mask, No one would ever accept; the King of Clowns.

  2. jsomers (Post author)

    Hey Tom,

    Let’s see what everyone thinks – I welcome all to comment!

    J

  3. Blueman

    That’s some dark shit, bro. I really like the “vibrant throne” – there’s gotta be a long and likely harrowing road that led this sad bastard to this seat, and it could be a good story. Think about telling it to Avery and keeping that Roon finger from getting bored and twitchy…

  4. DeadlyAccurate

    Hi, Tom. You have a lot of talent, and I’m very impressed with your efforts. Keep up the good work.

  5. Jonas Samuelle

    Sounds like a really cool concept. Kind of like an old Mayan myth mixed with some medieval imagery.

    You’re maybe a little heavy on the adjectives/adverbs. You’re trying to get a very specific and detailed image across, and maybe in a longer passage you’d have a chance to do some of that through context.

    The vernacular is pretty formal and archaic. I realize that’s probably part of the middle-ages feel you’re after, but don’t let it force you to use six words when three will do. I do that all the time and my stuff sounds contrived as hell. Don’t be me.

    Avoid clichés (harsh reality, hid from view, describing any part of a king as “regal,” barren and empty, etc.). Beware the differences between “sat” and “set.” Work on punctuation, particularly commas and periods. Finally, be careful when using words you’re not terribly comfortable with (“donned” for example, is not quite a synonym for “adorned,” but it’s close).

    Keep in mind this is all stuff I get wrong too. Everyone does–except Jeff, of course. You spend three months of your life to train a grammar monkey and the world is your fucking oyster, I tells ya’.

    See? There I am using clichés. Maybe that’s all I should have written: “Don’t be afraid of being a hypocrite.”

    Write that story; people will want to read it. You’ve got talent.

    -Jonas

  6. KT Olson

    Hi Mr. Somers!

    I have so much to thank you for. Your books got me though my last round of hospital stays. I have a severe case of Crohn’s disease, which is why I’m sick so goddamn much. My dad picked up Electric Church for me, because he knew I liked noir and was stuck without a book. I thought I’d give it a try. I loved it! It swept me away! I forgot about the IV in my arm, about those annoying nurses(who poke their heads in every 15 minutes), about the shitty food, about how much pain I was in.

    As luck would have it, I wound up in the hospital thrice more. Once on vacation. Colorado hospitals are nice, but I would rather have seen the mountains instead.

    I read the Avery Cates series through every visit. I’m on Final Evolution now(and thankfully am out of the hospital this time). I’m also in the middle of Trickster, which is amazing. If I were a mage, I would charm myself into thinking everything is wonderful and fantastic most of the time. Can a mage do that? Can you charm yourself?

    Anyhow, with college and Crohn’s, I’m under a bunch of stress. Your books take my stress away.

    So, from the bottom of my heart,
    Thank You.

    -Katie

  7. jsomers (Post author)

    Katie,

    Wow! Thanks for the note. I am very humbled that my little stories could have that kind of effect – thanks so much for letting me know. And I am, of course, very glad you enjoy the books.

    I do think mages would routinely charm themselves, though it’s an aspect I haven’t explored in the world yet. Maybe if there’s a third book in the series it’s an aspect I could get into!

    Best of luck with everything, and I hope you enjoy Trickster and The Final Evolution when you finish them!

    Best
    Jeff

  8. David Powell

    Jeff,

    I want to say that I picked up “The Electric Church” not really sure if I would like it. I was wrong! I haven’t even finished the book yet and I’m ready for more, I don’t want it to end! You have become an instant favorite and I’m already making plans to find and read every book you have written. Thanks.

    Constant Reader

    David Powell

  9. jsomers (Post author)

    Thanks, David – I appreciate the note! So glad you’re enjoying TEC – hope I keep up the standard for you!

    J

  10. Ja'Michael Bush

    Hey Jeff, I finally got my nubs around The Final Evolution a couple of weeks ago. Had some downtime from school so I had a chance to read it and man…. Fucking Epic as usual. Loved every page dude. After I read “There will never be anyone there” I just sat back on the bus with the knowledge that I’d read all the books, sighed and thought “Fuck you Jeff… That was awesome.” Also, a couple of years ago I was on your Street Team, the one that was tasked with spreading the word about the Avery Cates series in a monk-like brainwashing fashion…. Good times. Anyways, I never got to tell you that you and a couple of my other favorite authors inspired me to sit on my ass and drink a variety of alcoholic beverages until I produced something that people would want to give me money for. Thanks. I’d have never tried writing without the A-C series. I haven’t gotten around to the Trickster book yet because of my own selfishness to write and do nothing else, but I think I’ll pick it up next week. Welp, hope all is well, and keep writing great shit.

    Ja’Michael

  11. Danielle Nordstrum

    I was asked to visit this site by a friend who had heard that you wanted to be declared the “poet laureate” of Hoboken. Frankly, I think the claim is a bit pretentious. As a native of the city of Hoboken, I think there is little that you or anyone can say about the city that hasnt already been said a million times. Why are white male poets always the ones with the attitudes? If you heard my poetry of black female experience, you would probably never speak to a white person again. Jerk.

  12. Jerry Vilhotti

    I’ve been told you are no longer reading literary works. True? Jerry V. ….

  13. jsomers (Post author)

    Jerry: I’m not sure what this means. Are you from the future?

  14. Jerry Vilhotti

    One day some people will say I was ….

  15. AJohnson

    Will the remaining 2 Avery Cates books be made into audio books as well? I’m trying to be patient but it’s soooo hard!

  16. jsomers (Post author)

    Unfortunately, I don’t know – the company that was making them doesn’t seem interested at this stage. The moment I hear otherwise I’ll let you know!

  17. AJohnson

    I bought them instead and am selfishly ignoring me family in order to read them.

  18. Nico

    Hi Jeff

    Great work. How about a reading in LA one of these days? Don’t tell me magic only works in NYC.

  19. Paul

    Hey Jeff,

    Just listened to the recording of Trickster before I started We Are Not Good People. Really enjoyed it! Any plans to narrate the Ustari Cycle books?

    Keep up the alcohol-soaked good work!

  20. jsomers (Post author)

    Hey Paul – not at the moment. That’s hard work, which I avoid as much as humanly possible. Thanks for the note – really glad you enjoyed it!

  21. Bob B

    Jeff,
    You are one sick twisted dude…thanks! Romped through the AC series. Every page was a blast. I’ll test the waters with other of your works after a bit of a break. My wife and co-workers are a bit concerned that I keep calling them ass holes and now use the word fuck as a perfectly suitable substitute in any type of gramatical usage.

    Cheers,
    Bob

  22. Jowy

    Dear Mr. Somers,

    I have delightfully read your books out of order in the Avery Cates series. This was as Bob Ross would say a “happy accident.” When ransacking a Borders that was coming to its untimely end I came across your book The Eternal Prison. Needless to say it passed my 3 page minimum test, which is simply that I read the first 3 pages of any book and if I find it enjoyable and sustaining of my interest I continue. Since this time I have read your other previous books in this engaging series. I am still working on the last two very slowly. Admittedly this is because I am a shameless procrastinator when I don’t want a good thing to end.

    I continue to mention your books to others who enjoy Noir-ish Sci Fi or Fantasy. Yet I find you are a very underrated and unknown author. In fact, if it were not for my hoarding of books on clearance sales I would never have likely known that you existed and I peruse Sci Fi and Fantasy authors often. It disheartens me that others in this genre continue to write endless numbers of mediocre to terrible books that sell like crazy simply because of their name on the cover. I hope someday that your world of Avery Cates and other inspired fiction is appreciated for the fun excursion it provides.

    Many warm regards,
    Jowy

  23. Pat

    Sometimes, too rarely but still sometimes, I finish a book desperately looking for just another page, just another chapter. Then I frantically scavenge the interwebs for evidence of a follow up that I could purchase right now so it doesn’t have to end. So i can keep reading.

    This morning, just finishing “We are not good people” is one of those times. And unfortunately there just isn’t any more story left, yet.

    However frustrating those rare moments of angst can be, well, they are just the price to pay for good books I guess.

    Thank you for that.

  24. jsomers (Post author)

    CHeers, Pat – thanks so much for the comment. Always incredible to hear that from someone! There may yet be more to Lem and Pitr’s tale, though – I’ll keep y’all posted.

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