My wife The Duchess, our friend Karen, and I traveled to Upper Saddle River, New Jersey last night to attend a meeting of the Science Fiction Association of Bergen County. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but it turned out to be a great experience. Our friend Karen proofreads The Inner Swine and barely tolerates her association with me, but she lives in the area so volunteered to be part of my traveling audience. Of course, as readers of TIS already know, having Karen along as your traveling audience is a mixed blessing, as she thinks shouting rude things at you from the seats is “funny”.
This was easily one of the best experiences I’ve ever had promoting a book – there were a lot of interested, cool people there, I got to jabber on and on for a long time about myself which is always enjoyable, we sold and signed a few books, and Karen had us over her place afterwards for delicious cake – what more can a dessicated, aging hipster doofus of an author want? Nothing, that’s what.
The evening started off with the three of us locked out of the building where the meeting was held, pounding on the door and wondering if this was all some sort of meta-joke on me – I admit I looked askance at Karen, wondering if this was a plot of hers to humiliate me, which would amuse her. When we finally found our way in, there was a little informal chat session ahead of the actual meeting where I got to circulate a bit and meet a few of the members, who were all shockingly interested in what I had to say. My wife and Karen spent this time setting up books on the display table while I tried to look authorly – which, thank goodness, I define as “somewhat drunk and wrinkly”.
After a few announcements, I was put on the stage where I started rambling on about my life and writing The Electric Church. Nothing beats talking about yourself, but eventually I stammered to a stopping point as people began checking their watches and glaring at me – subtle signs I’ve learned over the years that I have been talking too much about my plans to enslave Helper Monkeys and teach them to mix me cocktails.
Then there was an extended question-and-answer period, with a lot of really great questions. We took a break to sing Happy Birthday to one of the members – any appearance I make where I get to sing Happy Birthday and am offered cake is a good appearance – and then a few more questions. I managed to not be completely incoherent, I think, though there were a few moments of incoherency. I did suddenly regain consciousness on the stage at one point and everyone was huddled around me, looking worried, but I sprang to my feet, shouted “TA-DA!” and that seemed to smooth over the awkwardness. In the end, my pants did not fall down around my ankles while I was talking, and that’s always a triumph.
My hat’s off to SFABC Director Phil De Parto for running a tight ship – he kept things moving, asked a bunch of really great questions himself, and was extremely friendly and helpful. All in all I’m jazzed I went. Here’re some pictures for ya:
Jeff Discussing The Electric Church with SFABC Member.
Jeff Signing Books at the End of the Meeting.
Jeff and Karen in a Rare Pose Where Karen is Not Assaulting the Author.