Friends, every author dreams of the day that he or she hits the big time. But how do you know you’ve hit the big time? Is it when you don’t have to siphon booze out of your neighbor’s bottles during parties in order to drink like a civilized human being? Is it when you have people on the payroll who do absolutely nothing? Is it when you actuallyÂ have a payroll? Is it when the police, coming upon you once again pantsless and inebriated on a park bench after a night of “research” for your latest novel, drive you home instead of beating you senseless and forcing you to wash their squad car the next day while you shiver with hangover pain?
No, friends, you know you have hit it big when your novels turn up on file-sharing networks.
That’s right, I am proud to say that if you go looking, you can now find both my novels as HTML files, complete with full text – including copyright notices – and a nice JPG of the cover. I AM HUGE. Now all I need is for someone to start up a fan-made encyclopedia that I can sue, and my fame will be permanent.
Back to “research”.