Monthly Archive: February 2009

Twittered Fiction Redux

Hola, everyone. Still recovering from NYCC. I’ll probably be saying that for months to come, because I am not a young man any more, and The Drink has taken its toll. I have the body of a much older person.

Our Twitter Fiction Experiment was a success, and we got some great feedback. AJ over at Spontaneous Derivation even collected the Tweets, organized them in order and filtered out everyone else, and have offered it up to the world, for which I thank them. So, if you wish, The Black Boxes, in order:

http://tweets.spontaneousderivation.com/Somers/Black-Boxes.html

Since it was such a grand success, what the hell, I’ll do it again. Just as before, let’s vote on which title gets Tweeted. All you get is the title; no other indication of what the story’s about. Though I can say they’re all SF/Fnal in nature, to some degree. Herewith your choices:

1. The Music Makers

2. Dreamers of Dreams

3. The Awards Dinner

Note: Complete coincidence that 2 of those titles are ripped from the same poem.

Go on and email/comment/twitter you vote to me. Story starts on 2/16, and votes will be counted up until 2/15. The same Twitter account: http://twitter.com/somers_story.

See ya there!

Final NYCC

Whew. I am exhausted.

New York Comic Con was great fun, but the sheer crush of people is wearying. Although out of those tens of thousands, I met a few new folks that were very cool, and a few old friends. Plus we had: ADVENTURES.

Here’s a quick video recap of Day 2 of NYCC:

First off, Jeff’s incompetence rears its ugly head as I arrived at 1:25pm for my 1:30pm panel, then went to the exact wrong location and stood there for a while, confused. After sprinting my way for half a mile of sweaty, costumed people, I arrived at the panel room 5 minutes late with sweat streaming down my face. When you do this, you end up sitting behind a monitor so no one can see you. Here’s my view from the panel table:

Afterwards, I found a complete, total stranger who is not my brother to give me an endorsement:

Then it was off to the Autograph area to sign books, and people actually showed up!

And a few people even brought my mysterious, largely-forgotten first novel, Lifers, which almost made me weep in joy:

We realized we were right next to Lou Ferrigno in the autograph area. Lou was not particularly friendly.

Erik who comments here all the time showed up! He had Lifers too, which made us love him. Then I stalked him for the rest of the day, until he called security and had us ejected.

When The Duchess invaded Lou Ferrigno’s space a little, he growled at her, and I had to remind her that I am a small, weak man.

Obligatory Princess Leia babe getting books signed by me:

Doug Finch of The Whirligig was there and stopped by despite the danger of my reputation being attached to him:

All in all, a fabulous experience. While I wouldn’t recommend showing up late for your panels and having to run the length of the Javits Center in a flopsweat, it all worked out, and we signed just about every book Orbit had sent along.

The Orbit crew deserves a special mention: They not only do a fantastic job of organizing things, they also make it fun. They also absorb my incompetence and somehow alchemize it into success, a mysterious process I don’t claim to understand. They rock!

I have lots more vids, but what I’m planning to do is edit them together into a coherent mini-documentary about my days at NYCC, which might take a few days to accomplish, especially with possible re-shoots and the special effects processing. Look for it!

Even MORE Comic Con 2009

So, the vids were posted late late last night. Comic Con is exhausting. I’ve heard that it’s become more and more commercialized over the years, and I believe it – in some ways this felt more like a trade show than a fan gathering. Everyone is trying to sell you things. Wonderful things, yes, but still. I felt pretty good that Orbit and I were just giving away books and meeting people – that part was ridiculously fun.

Seeing Lou “The Incredible Hulk” Ferrigno sitting lonely behind 150 feet of empty rope-line, waiting for someone to pay for his autograph? Not so much. I heard he was there for 8 hours. Obviously, that’s part of his job, what he does, but couldn’t they make it look friendlier? No harm in paying for autographs, but why did they have to set everything up like visiting hours at prison? I’m not famous, of course, but it seemed much more fun to have people crowded around the Orbit booth, shaking hands and cracking jokes.

My publisher, Orbit, and its duly appointed representatives, Alex and Dongwon, are AWESOME, despite the fact that Alex’s first question to me was “Did you really bring a flask?” and when I told him I’d forgotten it he sneered “You’re all talk!” I forgive him. I’m bringing the damn flask today, dammit, and will thus be drunk by the time my panel begins. I’m thinking something along the lines of My Favorite Year:

THEM: So, Mr. Somers, what about your influences as a writer?

ME: I’m not a writer, I’m a GENRE NOVELIST!

Or, er, something.

All I can say is, Alex and company make you feel good about being a cog in the industrial entertainment machine.

The folks in costume were fun, and not as prevalent as I would have imagined. Someday folks will be dressed as Monks, even if I have to pay them. Though I kept my eye out for the Death Note kid. If I see him, I’m high-tailing it out of there.

Anyway, we’re off to Day 2 in a bit. I will once again be twittering as I wander, and filming, and more vids will be posted tonight. Eventually I’m going to edit all the vids into a modest 5 minute little film, complete with some music and subtitles etc. Gonna be fun. As before: If you’re attending, find me. I’ll try to twitter my movements, though it’s hard because we actually don’t stay anywhere too long (unless The Duchess has found a deep vein of merch to mine) but I’ll try. And of course I’m doing the panel at 1:30 and a signing/book giveaway at the autograph area afterward, so if nothing else that is definitely where I’ll be. Probably sitting lonely and dejected while people crowd around others, so take pity on me.

NYCC Vids

Herewith videos from 2009 NYCC, featuring Jeff Somers and his Manager The Duchess:

WE ARRIVE, AND THE DUCHESS MUST ACQUIRE GOODS:

JEFF SIGNS BOOKS FOR FANS IN FRONT OF DISBELIEVING WIFE

JEFF SIGNS BOOKS

SEND BOOZE IMMEDIATELY

JEFF CONTEMPLATES PROPER ATTIRE FOR COMIC CON

JEFF THINKS PEOPLE ARE PRETENDING TO NOT KNOW WHO HE IS

More to come!

Comic Con

The videos I’ve taken are too large to post right now, so I’ll have to shrink ’em tonight and post them later. Forn now, know this: I just signed like 50 books for folks and my hand hurts, and we’re now going to wander around looking for coolness. Vids to follow later!

J

Gearin’ Up

Okay, so I’m getting everything together to begin my NYCC odyssey. This ought to be interesting; I’ve never been to a con like this before. I’m a total noob. Naturally, whenever I am entering a potentially humiliating moment in my life, I’ll be updating y’all constantly. So if no one shows up for my signings – you’ll see it in live video!If I’m bumrushed out by security – live on video! Check here for updates.

I’ll also be tweeting – my location in the hall, if you’re looking for me, and what I’m doing from time to time, so follow me on Twitter if you want to keep up with my adventures.

And if you’re attending – see you there!

NY Comic Con

So, as I mentioned, I’ll be mooning about NY Comic Con this weekend. If you’re going to be there, track me down, give me the secret blog-reader handshake, and say hello. If you don’t give the handshake, my wife will tackle you and beat you up. Sorry, it can’t be helped.

My concrete scheduled things are:

Friday 2/6, 3pm: Signing at the Orbit booth. Swing by and I’ll sign anything you want, even body parts. Well, most body parts.

Saturday 2/7, 1:30pm: Sci-Fi, Supernatural and Fantasy Authors Round Table, followed by a book giveaway in the Autograph area.

This means, of course, that I’ll be missing the Robot Chicken panel, which upsets me greatly. Anyone want to stand in for me at the panel so I can go geek out over there? You’ll need a) glasses, b) a bottle of something in a paper bag, and c) a vague notion that you write books. That’s it!

Come on by and say hello. I’ll be twittering my adventures and possibly live-video-blogging the whole thing, so if you’re trying to find me, check Twitter and this blog.

The Dangers of Public Blogging

Gosh, make a few jokes about boozing and wearing no pants, and you get a reputation. Who knew? Recently, I’ve been getting every news item including a pantsless man sent to me by helpful fans. Just this morning, I’m enjoying my coffee and Damaso sends me a link to this:

http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,23739,25008189-5013016,00.html, “Red face, blue undies – man stuck up tree with no pants”

Along with this note: “If this had been in Jersey I would know it was you.”

Laugh it up, Internets, laugh it up. My fame as the Pantsless Writer is cemented!

Paper Mate

A fellow named Paul Riddell has a saying: I love living in the future. This generally refers to all the cool gadgets and technologies we have at our disposal: Just a few decades ago home computers, iPods, video games – all of these would have seemed pretty incredible. For people who grew up primarily before the digital explosion, the last twenty years or so has just been one marvel after another.

You know what I miss, though? My manual typewriter.

Oh, I still have it. I just don’t use it much. I used to; I used to write everything on it. I have filing cabinets stuffed with manuscripts, and it was glorious, pounding away at that monster, almost like carving the sentences on the page. Of course, the benefits of the word processor are too many to list, and even a Luddite like me had to give in eventually – at first it was just clean final revisions, but now I write everything on the PC and the manual typewriter collects dust.

One thing hasn’t changed: I still write short stories in a noteboook, longhand, using blue and white Paper Mate pens:

Ah, the ole’ blue and white. I won’t use anything else. If my pen dies and I don’t have an extra, I stop working. It’s just superstition, and I can’t really explain it, but I refuse to use anything else.

And to be honest, I can’t imagine what would ever change my process and cause me to abandon a technology that is several thousand years old. This isn’t an indictment of modern technology or a statement in favor of universal adoption of paper and pen by all writers; it’s just me and what I like. For my process, I can’t imagine what could possibly happen to make me utilize a different tool to write shorts. Unless, perhaps, a trained monkey at a keyboard I could dictate to. No, wait, I take it back: NOTHING WILL PRY MY CHEAP PAPER MATES FROM MY HANDS.

As technological advancement speeds along, of course, these sorts of decisions start to look crazy. I remember, when I was a wee kid, watching an episode of Lou Grant (all ye children, Google it; you didn’t miss anything) wherein a blackout paralyzes the newspaper office except for the crusty old reporter who’d always refused to use an electric typewriter. Back in the mid 1970s refusing an electric typewriter in favor of a manual was eccentric. Sticking with the manual in 2008 would be insane. That’s where I am, I guess.

Of course, when I like a story I’ve written I key it into the word processor (Open Office). I’m eccentric, not stupid.

Now I read how kids these days aren’t learning cursive handwriting any more, so my short story notebooks are slowly turning into secret codebooks that only I will be able to read. So I’d better get keyboarding, if only for my legacy. It’s going to get weirder and weirder to keep writing stories longhand as time goes on – though eventually I’ll be visibly old enough to qualify as an “old coot” and no one will worry about it any more, as my every foible will be ascribed to age and infirmity. I can’t wait! And the final joke will be that when I’m that old my handwriting will be illegible anyway.